For brown little boys and girls

For brown little boys and girls
Photo by Anjelica Cazares

We have a responsibility to remember who we are, where we’ve been, and where we come from! I may be going off on a tangent here in a second, so consider this your warning. Tonight, I was reminded once again why having a voice, for me, was ever even important. Not to say that I think I have a huge voice, or that I’m even reaching tens of thousands of people, or anything like that. You all know that as of late I haven’t been writing nearly as much as I used to. I’m not going to make excuses for myself.

I’ve been busy.

I’ve been working long hours.

And most days when I get home I just want to veg out and do absolutely nothing.

Just sit in front of the television set and watch my novela, have dinner with Edgar and Anjelica, and spend time with them doing absolutely nothing… or at least nothing that eventful. Our life, in truth, has become pretty comfortable. We’re always trying to make the most of our time together, and before you know it we’re laying in bed, waking up again the next morning, to get going all over again.

But tonight. Tonight, I was reminded again that somewhere inside of me is still that young little lost boy who never dreamt of going farther than his circumstances would have allowed him to go. It never once would have dawned on me back then that my words could have an impact, even on a single person. I was a different human being back then. A more humble one. A simpler one. A more innocent one. A more naive one. A boy whose circumstances could have defeated him. A boy who could have chosen not to dream.

But for whatever reason, I chose to dream.

Tonight, when I was face to face with myself as that young boy again, I couldn’t help but getting a little choked up at how defenseless I must have been. I was a boy wanting to take on a world that didn’t even make sense to me. There weren’t any role models for me back then. At least not people that looked like me or were doing the things I wanted to do. And yet that didn’t stop me. I honestly don’t know why?

Y no es que le quiera echar mucha crema a mis tacos, but something inside me told me I had to keep pushing myself. I had to make something of myself. I had to make my life mean something.

En realidad, I don’t know that I’ve done that yet. Actually, I know I haven’t. The point of this post, though, is to say to those little brown boys and girls out there, like me, that it is always okay to dream and reach for the impossible.

Coming from nothing is not an excuse to say “I can’t” or “I never will.”

You can. And you will.

I believe in you.

3 thoughts on “For brown little boys and girls

  1. Juan,
    I’m going through lots of old emails and I found a link to this post. Timely because lately I’ve been dreaming of writing more and trying to make a habit of doing so. Thank you for encouraging us brown folks to strive for more. You and Angelica definitely keep me going.

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