Tag Archives: refrán

Cada día sabemos más y entendemos menos

Everyday we know more and understand less.

Cada día sabemos más y entendemos menos

Today we went fishing. It was the second time in my life that I have ever been fishing, but it was a lot more fun than I remembered. We got a late start to the day so we weren’t able to spend as much time as we wanted fishing. However, the time that we did get to spend together was pretty great.

We were in Lake Livingston in Texas, about an hour from Houston. And the lake was so peaceful and quiet. I can’t remember the last time we spent time just enjoying each other’s company. It was nice. I guess the older I’m getting the more I realize how valuable these moments are for our family. 

Growing up the moments we spent together doing things like this are the ones that really stick out the most. They remind me of the happier times, and the times we spent just experiencing life together, and that for me is what made my childhood such an adventure.

It’s been a funny year this year. Not just because it’s 2016 and as everyone on social media has been exclaiming, “it’s been a crazy year!” Also because it’s brought so many unexpected events, life situations, and personal growth. I can’t honestly say I am the same guy who started this blog almost 8 years ago now, but what I do know is that the changes that have happened in my life have been because they needed to happen.

I needed to understand my place in the universe. I needed to value my own abilities and skills. I needed to be confident in the possibilities. I needed to understand that life is about cycles. Sometimes you’re up. Sometimes you’re down. That doesn’t matter so much, what matters is that you can withstand and persevere no matter what.

And as silly as it might sound, I feel I have been preparing all of my life to understand this. Like every moment of joy and every moment of sadness, of struggle, of defeat, of happiness, has been a lesson. A lesson I’ve had to understand in hindsight. And it was only through these lessons that I was able to grow and expand my ability to understand and accept the how and why. It’s not always been easy, and I certainly have my doubts about it getting any easier, but at the same time I am encouraged to witness the strength and fortitude of others who have withstood so much more than I. 

My hope is that I too can make it to the other side without falling apart. That would be a tremendous achievement. 

Cada día sabemos más y entendemos menos

Cuando el perro es bravo hasta a los de casa muerde

Heard this on the radio today, and it got me thinking. Is it really true? That when we’re angry and despechados we’re also blinded about who we might be affecting and how exactly we could be hurting them?

No sé… like many other dichosit does kind of make sense.

Cuando el perro es bravo hasta a los de casa muerde
Stray Dogs by BenStoney

La Sangre Llama

August: Osage County. Probably not the best choice of movie to watch when you’ve got a lot on your mind. I’d remembered seeing this movie out a long time ago in the theaters. It was promoted as being in the theaters. I never actually saw it. Last night, though, we found it at RedBox and decided to rent it. You might have seen this film by now, so you know what I’m talking about. I won’t go into details for those of you who haven’t. Suffice it to say there were several points during the movie at which my mouth was open and my eyes glued to the television in complete silence, and without any movement at all.

Meryl Streep is one of my favorite actresses, but even from her, I wasn’t expecting so much drama. It was intense.

So, of course, afterwards I’m all like “damn, that was too much.” It got me thinking about family and what that single word means. Your brood. The unit you were born into. The people who know you better than anyone, and who can’t just turn their back to you and forget you. I don’t know of anyone who actually has. Because even though you can choose not to speak to one another, or see each other at all, the thing is those memories and ties you’ve built over a lifetime don’t go away.

They’re ingrained in us. As much a part of us as the blood running through our veins.

La sangre llama, we like to say.

La Sangre Llama
August: Osage County

I do believe that. I believe it because I live it. The smallest of details can trigger yearnings inside of me that are so deep I cannot fully understand them. I can see inklings of me and my family in others. Sometimes those encounters are joyous, like when a woman walking a certain way, wearing a certain sweater, grabbing her hair a certain way, reminds me of my sister doing the same. I smile and think about her. Sometimes those encounters can be sad, like when a stranger looks past the person cleaning around them, or pretends they’re not even there, I can’t help but to think of my parents who have spent so many years doing that same work. I see their faces, remember their sacrifice, and feel unbelievably grateful.

Sometimes those encounters can be bittersweet. Not happy. Not sad. Just somewhere in between. Like when a young child reminds me of my younger siblings, the innocence they once had, the way life has a manner of snatching that innocence away from all of us. Those encounters especially are the ones that make you stop and think. Because no matter how much we think we know, no matter how certain we are right now, we can’t ever be certain that we will feel the exact same way tomorrow.

There are blogs posts here, in this very blog, that I can go back and read and not recognize myself. It’s human nature, I tell myself. We all grow, change, evolve. Maybe we do. I’m not all that certain I can trust my own answers anymore. What I do know right now is that family DOES mean “nobody gets left behind.”

We’re not perfect. Every family has their own issues. Far be it for me to claim perfection in my own family. What I do know is that part of growing up is learning to accept the imperfections in those who we love, as well as in ourselves. Family, for me, means making mistakes, saying things at the wrong time, not having the right words to say at the right moments, sitting in complete silence at times, holding one another when there’s nothing else to be done, and most importantly feeling true forgiveness in one’s heart, even when the words “I forgive you” aren’t necessary.

Family, for me, is about feeling happy and at home no matter where we are.

Family, for me, is in the heart.