Kind of a crappy End of Year recap

It’s hard to write one of these end of year posts without getting all melodramatic. En serio. This year I wasn’t even going to write one because you know everyone is telling us that we SHOULD write one to recap our year. Then I thought, well what the hell, y si me da la gana escribir uno, ¿qué? And so here I am.

I don’t know. It’s been a weird year for me, to say the least.

In year’s past I’ve reveled in the opportunity to delve into my opinions, to share them with the world, to – forgive the cynicism here – “enlighten” others with what I have learned so far in my own life. Me ha llegado la inspiración y yo le he respondido. Pero este año nomas como que no. 

Kind of a crappy End of Year recap

By all accounts 2014 has been good to me. I’ve landed a new chamba. I’m doing what I love. Things are relatively in a good place overall. This year has also probably been the year I’ve spent the most time working on myself. You know, learning to let things go, making conscious decisions about work-life balance, trying to accept and repeat over and over to myself and others que las cosas van a pasar como tienen que pasar. I know, it even sounds silly sometimes to say it out loud. That very simple phrase – that things are going to happen the way they are supposed to happen – however, has proven to be quite comforting to me this past year.

I can’t always change the things I don’t like. I can’t control everything. I can’t always be right. No matter how convincing the voices in my head are. I can’t always believe everything I’m told. I can’t be so cynical. And by extension, I can’t walk around imparting wisdom on the world when I myself am very much still learning along the way. Shit, there’s a lot of stuff I still need to learn. I know it.

No sé. This is kind of a crappy way to end the year, I know. You all deserve better. I know that too, jajaja! But one of the things I’m trying to work on too is just being straight up about where I am and how I am doing at any given moment. It’s always easier just to brush feelings aside or pretend like everything is okay. When you do that for a living so to speak, it becomes almost second nature too. Although probably not the wisest move all of the time.

Uuu, chingao… there I go giving advice again! I can’t control myself sometimes!

What I do know is that there a few things I’d like to aim for in the new year. Quiero estar más saludable. I don’t want to be 150 pounds again, but somewhere in between that and where I am currently would be good. I want to reinvigorate the energy and passion I have inside me for projects that I really care about. Quiero hacerle unos arreglos a la casa. We need to get a freaking shed already! A few other things for the house here and there would be nice too. Quiero realizar algunos planes that are very near and dear to my heart and that I wouldn’t dare put on blast for the moment. I’d like to take a nice and long family vacation. Etc., etc., etc. You can imagine the rest of the stuff on my list.

Pero también tengo esa mala costumbre de pensar que lo peor puede pasar siempre. You know, the tell me your plans so I can laugh in your face mentality. I’m freaking paranoid about that.

Which is also why this is probably as good a place as any to bring this end of year recap to an end… pun intended. Who the hell knows what tomorrow or next year will bring. Here’s to hoping that whatever it is we’re strong enough to handle it and make it through another year.  May good things await us all en el 2015. ¡Ayá nos vemos!

2 thoughts on “Kind of a crappy End of Year recap

  1. Very good article Juan. In the last month I’ve decided to take over my life and make my decisions. I was relying on my sister too much and she was taking too much leeway with what I should and shouldn’t do. Example: I want to go to Mexico City to the cathedral of Our Lady of Guadalupe. My mom went years ago (probably 55 years) to thank her for helping my brother get better. (He had been hit by a car.) I want to do the opposite. I want to pray to her for a more peaceful last years (no specific number) of my life. My sister has also gone to Lourdes to get the holy water and she gives it to everyone and their brother. Except for me. So I realized I had to take the bull by the horns (literally). I’m going to be moving to Phoenix where she will too far to manage my life1

    I liked this article. Not only is it hard to remember what happened during the year and the resolution everyone wants to do. But how about every month? Thankful for your family etc. that way you wouldn’t have to rack your brain as to what to write.

    1. Thanks, Heidi.I think we’re too hard on ourselves sometimes. We develop these expectations of who we should or could be, and then we imagine that everyone around us measures us against those same expectations. For the most part, I don’t think anyone else really does… especially the people that really care about us. I think when we get to caught up on making others happy or living up to an ideal of who or what we should be we are missing the point. Life is about going with the flow, I think, and making the best of whatever situation is currently in front of us. I do wish you the best of luck on your current personal journey 🙂

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