Hermanita: Un Regalito De Boda En Puras Palabras, Sabias

Little Sister: A Small Wedding Gift Of Pure Words, Wise Ones

Mi hermanita

Always the patient one, the disciplined one, the one we ‘never had to worry about because we always knew she had her feet solidly planted on the ground, and her heart sitting in the right place.’   Irma Linda Alanis, named by my sisters, despite her objections years later…far too many later to have any impact on my mother’s decision to allow all of us the opportunity to name our new baby sister.  Delicate, petite, bien fina, what people used to say.  Then one day she showed up pelona, no longer the thick, long, black hair we all knew her by – “I’m going to be a mechanic she announced!”  Irma, Linda, the violinist, the writer, the straight A student, a mechanic?  We were dumbfounded.  Despite our pleas, lectures and protests, she was determined, to follow her heart.

And it was only her heart that pulled her out from under the hoods of cars and into the classroom of ‘special’ children, kids with special needs.  A woman now, one day away from the sanctity of marriage, I look at her and remember the purple violin, the long dark trenzas on each side of her head, the silliness of a sweet girl, the wisdom of her kind words, her embraces, her quiet self confidence, and the millions of other memories we’ve shared together.  I’m not ready to let go.  I don’t think I’ll ever be.  But knowing she can change her own oil and repair her own transmission gives me comfort.

Irma, my gift to you, the wisdom and words of so many I’ve met through my writing:

Wally Crow – Install spyware on his computer


Celia Valles – Keep Girls night out. So when he wants to go to any sporting event that u don’t care to join him you have the gals to turn to 🙂

Lorraine Diaz – Respect eachother…once you lose the respect there is nothing left.

Juanita Cruz – DON’T DO IT!!!! LOL, en serio!!! Mi abuelita decia que de la puerta de la iglesia se arripentian so tell her it’s not a big deal!! Just kidding…best wishes to your sister.

Juan Alejandro – The best of health, wealth and happiness

Esme Bernal – Marriage is a blessing. May your sister have a wonderful marriage.

Frances Morantes – Never go to Bed Mad!Always Make up with One Another.

@Cali4niaLily – Remember nothing’s as bad as it seems @ the moment. The only thing not conquered by any man/woman is personal death. All else is fixable

@ergeekgoddess – Congrats!  Don’t have children right away – take he time to enjoy and bond as a couple.  Whatever she does, she should have a life of her own. Her man will love her more for it.

@CraftyChica – Exciting!! Enjoy every moment…don’t get caught up on the minor details!  Time goes by too fast!

@emoticomma – Love ur partner in this life for who he is (not just 4 the person u want him 2 b). Support ea. other+ work extra hard during difficult times

@moondustwriter – Hmm, never go to bed angry and you are always there for her but your will send her back to make up with her hubby

@customcreative – Hmm, well I’m single but I’d tell her to never take her husband for granted.  Always kiss hello & goodbye & that it won’t always be easy… but to always work to build the relationship they want. My parents have 39 yrs married. It wasn’t always bliss, but they made it work. Last but not least: if they believe, God should be central in their partnership everyday. He gives strength when we have none. And of course, tell her congratulations! May the happy couple be blessed all the days of their lives… 🙂

@SimonCLarter – Advice? Me? Seriously, tho, make sure it’s a partnership, and not just one person in charge. Share the responsibilities. That’s it! 🙂

@SheilaAtwood – Just like anything else, you have to create a marriage. You might as well create a really fabulous one.

@broncofashion – Tell your sis: enjoy your similarities but celebrate your differences. If two people are the same, one of them isn’t necessary.

@hedgehognrabbit – Besides “don’t do it”? 😉 Well, communication is key. Don’t ever think you have to lie. Your husband should be the 1st person you’re honest w/. Also, my huge pet peeve, he doesn’t have to get rid of his toys when you have kids. He can keep the motorcycle and the guitars.

@asthevinylspins – Her? More like HIM. Happy wife, happy life 🙂 It’s worked for my husband!

@NikkiCrick – Love each other for your differences, do something everyday to say I love you. Make time for dates. Be happy!

@KCLosangeles – That no matter what dramas may unfold, ignore them & make sure she has fun on her wedding day!

@Latinaish – My consejo is that all the consejos in the world won’t keep you together – only the two of you can decide that. Marriages is blood, sweat and tears – some days more than others. Nobody tells you that it isn’t easy – and if they do, you’re too blinded by passion and you’re own feelings of invincibility to think otherwise — But marriage isn’t easy. Life isn’t easy – but if there’s anything worth fighting for, it’s love.  Lucha. Cada día, Lucha por amor …y siempre recuerda, en este campo de batalla, ud y su marido están destinados a ser aliados, no enemigos.

These ‘consejos’ were solicited from friends and acquaintances of your big brother on the social network sites Twitter and Facebook.  Some of them made me laugh, others I’ve also saved for myself, and I hope they will be as enjoyable for you as they were for me.  Those who submitted the love, gracias!

7 thoughts on “Hermanita: Un Regalito De Boda En Puras Palabras, Sabias

  1. Juan, this is such a beautiful gift for your hermanita, (who I had the honor of “seeing” on Facebook. She seems like a beautiful person inside and out.)

    I love that she marches to the beat of her own drummer. The story you shared about her combined with these heartfelt consejos from strangers who don’t even know her personally was such a sweet start to my morning.

    Que Dios bendiga a Irma y su esposo. Viva el amor!

  2. Juan,

    I had not read this until 5 years after the wedding! That is crazy, I didn’t know you wrote this post..

    Well I appreciate your words, they mean more than any gift, they are a true treasure. You are my older brother but I’ve always considered you my 2nd dad because you looked out for those needs that (although they are wonderful parents) mom and dad didn’t know how to meet. I mean, playing violin, doing high school Algebra, going shopping, giving me advice…

    There are not enough words in the dictionary to describe how much I appreciate your guidance, your advice, your open heart and willingness to help and listen.

    So, five years later (Sorry!), THANK YOU for your kind words and for all the great advice that is here. I will treasure this always.

    I love you big brother.

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