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Raising A Bilingual Kid: And Learning Right Alongside Him Every Step Of The Way!

raising a bilingual kid learning alongside them every step of the way capirotada enchiladas language juanofwords

This past weekend we went to Dallas for a few days.  We were there for the Blissdom 2013 national conference, and while it was everything we had expected and a lot more (there were mixed drinks at some of the tabletop booths so ya se imaginan…), what really made the trip extra special was something Edgar said at Anjelica’s aunts’ home.  We were staying with them while we were in Dallas.  One, to not pay for a hotel.  And two, because you already know in Mexican families if you don’t stay with family that’s just as bad as turning your back on us.

So there we were.  It was late on Saturday evening.  We had already come back from the conference and we were exhausted.  One of Anjelica’s aunts was making capirotada – if you’re not familiar it’s very similar to bread pudding – and we were all sitting around the table talking.  Then Edgar started asking questions.

Edgar:  What is that?

Anjelica’s Aunt:  Capirotada.

Edgar:  No, what is that?  What is that ma?

Everyone:  Capirotada. Capirotada mijo.  It’s capirotada.

Edgar:  But how do you say it in English?

Anjelica’s Aunt:  Capirotada.

Edgar:  Yeah, but in English… what is the word for that in English?

Anjelica’s Aunt:  How do you say enchiladas in English?

Edgar:  En-chee-la-ttas.

Anjelica’s Aunt:  Pos hay está, in English you say ca-pee-ro-ta-dah.

I haven’t been able to stop laughing at that exchange.  It reminded me so much about some of the many language barriers of my own that I’ve had over the years.  For the longest I called one of my parent’s friends everything else but her real name of Calletana.  It was such a tender moment that I had to recreate it in the videos below:

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How Do You Make Your Child Understand What It Means To Be Undocumented?

how do you explain to a child what it means to be undocumented juanofwords

A scene from ‘Bajo la Misma Luna’

This week, we finally connected the internet to our television at home.  Don’t ask me how I did it.  The truth is I don’t actually remember.  I just kind of kept pushing buttons until it worked.  Still, once we got the connection going and we were able to login to our NetFlix account Edgar and I couldn’t agree on which movie to watch together.  He likes family and kids movies, which as you all know are mostly cartoons and super hero stories.  Not really my cup of .  I prefer comedies, dramas, thrillers and action movies.  Think stupid funny.  That’s usually my guilty pleasure.

Esta vez, though, we settled on Under The Same Moon.  You remember… the mostly in Spanish film about family separation and immigration starring Kate Del Castillo, Eugenio Derbez, America Ferrera, Carmen Salinas, and others, that was so critically acclaimed just a couple of years ago.  I’ve seen it myself probably a half dozen times.  Each time I can’t stop myself from tearing up like a big old baby when Carlitos finds his mom at the end of the movie.  It’s that good!  I think so anyway.

Watching the film with Edgar, however, was kind of an eyeopener for me.  I guess I’d never really given much thought to what his notion about immigration really was.  Sure, he knows that my parents and Anjelica’s parents both came from Mexico to this country as immigrants and that a lot of our relatives still live there now.  We’ve explained to him what “crossing the river” and “crossing the border” mean.  He’s heard the story about my mom crossing the Rio Grande river with me in one arm and my older brother in the other, sitting on nothing but a rubber tube, over and over again, and he’s probably going to keep hearing about that one forever.  We’ve even sat down and talked to him about why some of our family members refer to themselves as mojados. 

Sin embargo, I don’t think it had ever fully sunk in.  Watching the movie, though, he started asking things like: wait, so if you have papers you don’t have to cross the border?  just because he doesn’t have papers he has to hide under the seat?  wait, why doesn’t his mom just go back home?  why did they just let him get arrested?  why didn’t they help him?  We tried  our best to answer his questions, but the truth is for some of them we just didn’t have the right answers.  I don’t know that anyone does.

It got me thinking.  I don’t remember my parents ever really sitting us down to explain to us what it meant for people to refer to them as “illegal.”  We knew la migra was who we were supposed to hide from.  We recognized their green and white trucks when they would drive by and we would always run away from them as fast as we could.  We knew that because mamá y papá didn’t have papeles we couldn’t travel past the border town we were living in.  They could be captured and deported at the next closest immigration checkpoint.  We knew that when we had to leave our home in Texas to try and start a new life in Mexico it was because our parents weren’t supposed to be here… but I don’t think we ever really understood why.

I’m kind of glad they let us figure it out on our own.

Now that begs another question in my mind.  How do you explain to a child what it means to be undocumented?  Is there really a right or wrong answer?  Is it a matter of personal choice?  I don’t know.  ¿Qué me dicen ustedes?  

Raising a Bilingual Kid… While Dumpster Diving

Lately we’ve been making a lot of trips to the city’s dump sites.  It’s not by desire by any means.  Instead, by obligation.  Por obligación… y más o menos a la fuerza también, I would say.  But the thing is we’ve had a lot of junk to trash, and well, in all honesty, neither one of us has been able to keep up with which day of the month is big trash day.  Here, they only do it once a month.  It might be different in your neck of the woods.  If it is, lucky you!  Anyway, rather than looking up the right day of the month, which would probably be the logical thing to do, we instead, pack up the back of my beat up old pick up truck with as much junk as we can carry, to haul over to the trash dumping site near our house.  It’s about five minutes away.

raising a bilingual kid while dumpster diving juanofwords

Dumpster Diving & Raising a Bilingual Kid

It’s a pretty big space and on the weekends you’d be hard pressed to find it without a line of other trucks – from mini pick ups to trucks with trailer hitches attached – already waiting to dump their trash as well.  Mostly contractors, tree trimmers, people that are obviously doing remodels on their homes, are what you’ll usually find in line.  And then there is us.  Me, Edgar and Anjelica, scarfing down our tacos from Taconmadre, sharing an agua fresca, and fanning ourselves to at least give ourselves the illusion that we are getting a little cooler, while we wait in line.

Oh, did I forget to mention my truck doesn’t have air conditioning?

It doesn’t, by the way.

So, there we sit.  Waiting.  Sometimes five to 10 minutes.  Sometimes 15 to 20, just depending on how many cars are in front of us.  This past weekend, our wait was only about 10 minutes long.  Although in the blistering Texas heat it felt more like an hour.  I had just bitten off a piece of my fajita con queso gordita - this time the cheese was so hot and melted the only place for me to add my green salsa was on top of the gordita - when the guy from the dump site called us over.  As Anjelica turned the corner to drive onto the appropriate parking space to reverse into – she’s much better at reversing in this space than I am – I swallowed the other half of my gordita so I could climb onto the bed of the truck and chunk out all of our trash into the huge metal crate that sits just below where we were told to park.

I did so and we drove off.

A couple of seconds later, I noticed Edgar was so hot he was falling asleep.  We had so much stuff in the half seat behind us that he was sitting up front with us, in the middle – something we rarely ever allow him to do.  It’s much safer for him in the back seat, we always reason.  Not to mention, when he does go to sleep, he’s automatically shielded from the sun by our shadows and the seats between us.  This time, he didn’t have that shield and he was twitching and turning trying to get away from the sun.  Instinctively, I picked up my cap and put it on his head.  My head is much bigger than his, so it pretty much covered all of his face.  He was content, and quickly began to rest a little easier.  That single action, took me back.

In an instant, I was once again in my father’s truck, hiding from the sun myself in his vaquero hat… probably about the same age that Edgar is now.  I remembered the smell of his hat.  It smelled like him.  Like a mixture of heat and sweat.  Like the top of my dad’s head.  As weird as it might sound, it’s still a smell that to this day puts me at ease.  I don’t know why, but it does.

I can’t say that it ever put me to sleep, though, but it did always soothe me… in a way only my father’s sombrero could.  A few minutes later, Edgar sat up and he was in a much better mood.

Go figure?

Raising a Bilingual Kid: 7 Essential Lessons For Any Parent

Raising a Bilingual Kid  7 Essential Lessons For Any Parent juanofwords

Parenting.

It’s probably human nature that anytime we’re not too sure about our own parenting, we tend to think back on our own childhoods.  How did my parents react to that?  What would they have done?  How would they have handled it?  For me, it’s a pretty regular occurrence.  Even cuando no me doy cuenta, the easiest thing to do is to reflect back on some of the essential life lessons my parents have taught us over the years.  I think they’re pretty universal, y por eso I have put them together into these
7 Essential Lessons For Any Parent:

1. Habla Con La Verdad.  Be honest.  Don’t lie.  To others.  And especially not to yourselves.  There’s nothing worse than lying to ourselves.

2. No Seas Maleducado.  Don’t be a smart ass.  A smart mouth.  A sinverguenza.  Be respectful.  Mind your manners.  And show you have some home training.

3. Sé Acomedido.  Be courteous.  Thoughtful.  Offer to help without being asked.  Help that little old lady cross the street.  Remember the Golden Rule!

4. Portate Bien.  Behave.  Act right.  Don’t be mischievous.  This one is especially applicable as we get older and it gets easier and more tempting to be a little bad.

5. No Le Nieges Un Taco A Nadie.  Don’t deny anyone a taco.  Okay, well maybe not literally.  It’s not like we want our kids going out there picking up complete strangers.  Instead, that whenever you’re able to do a good deed for someone else you should… without expecting anything in return.  So long as your not putting your own safety and well being at stake.

6. Respetate A Ti Mismo.  Respect yourself.  If you can’t respect yourself how is anyone else supposed to do it?  Know what you’re worth and don’t be afraid to remind yourself about it.  As many times as you need to!

7. Piensa Las Cosas.  The extension would be las cosas se hacen con calma.  Think about it.  Be patient.  Don’t rush into any decisions.  Take your time and give yourself plenty of time to consider all of your options.   

If you’ve got more lessons to add from your own jefitos, I’d love to read them!

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Raising a Bilingual Kid: It’s Hard for Parents Too!

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Bicultural Parents – Ricky and Lucy Ricardo.

I guess I should consider myself pretty fortunate.  Anjelica and I share almost exactly the same heritage.  We were both born here in this country to Mexican parents – from the same estado de San Luis Potosi at that!  We’re both Mexican Americans.  We both speak English and Spanish very fluently.  We’re both equally proud about our culture and heritage.  And most importantly, we both consider teaching Edgar proper Spanish the right thing to do.  The only problem – as I’m sure many of you already know, when it comes to raising bilingual kids, it’s a hell of a lot easier said than done.

Not that it’s impossible – it certainly isn’t – it just requires a lot of time and commitment.

So for all of you parents out there raising bilingual kids – regardless of what level of proficiency you may or may not consider yourselves to be at this task - un saludo and lots of porras!  Keep at it.  ¡Echenle ganas!  And while you’re at it, don’t forget to have a little fun too.  These video clips of the beloved and ultimate bicultural/bilingual couple, Lucy and Ricky Ricardo are certain to put a smile on your face.  They certainly capture what it feels like to be Latino in the US sometimes.  Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjadbW2ZARg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8w3XWzaMSEA

A special thanks to my friend Jorge Sanchez for sharing these clips! 

Raising a Bilingual Kid: The Importance of Doing ‘Nada’

We used to get up early in the mornings and do nothing.  That was the excitement of our summer vacations.  That we didn’t have to get up groggy, angry and tired to do anything at all.  There was no rush to hurry up and get dressed, wash our faces, and get out of the door to go to school, as we normally did the rest of the year.  En los veranos our time was our own.

raising a bilingual kid juanofwords

Ah... the lazy days of summer. - 50s Kids watching TV Captain Kangaroo by Kay Crain

Seconds, minutes and hours to do with what we pleased.  Or at least, whatever our parents would allow us to.  Usually that meant running around our apartment complex getting into all sorts of trouble, laying on the sofa with our legs hanging off to one side as we watched rerun after rerun after rerun, or just getting into stupid arguments with each other until my mother would get tired of it all and yell at us to “be quiet and do something!”  In Spanish it was more like “¡levantense!  ponganse hacer algo… ¿cómo van a pensar que se van a pasar todo el verano tiradotes alli nomás?  After that, we knew it was time to get up and skedaddle.

It didn’t matter where we went.  What mattered was that we get out of the line of fire.

As I’ve come to learn now, nobody can get you as frustrated and overwhelmed as your own children.  And imaginense we were seven children all together one right after another.  My poor madrecita never stood a chance at peace.  Not when we were around for the summers anyway.  The rest of the year and in between children por lo menos she had our school hours.  Anyway, it kind of got me thinking of how and why my mother used to get so frustrated with us, and why sometimes it’s so easy for me to get frustrated with Edgar for exactly the same reasons.  Como dice el dicho… some things, well, they just don’t ever change.

Though now too, I realize it wasn’t her just being mean for the sake of being mean.  It was her way of showing us she loved us.  “Si no me importaran pues ¿qué tiene? alli los dejaría sin hacer nada todo el día, but since you are mine and I care about you, I want you all to be productive.”  That was it.   That was all my parents wanted for us.  Life had never been easy for them and they just didn’t want us to get under the impression that it would be for us, that somehow or someway we wouldn’t have to struggle.  We all have.  I have.  And for that reason I think it’s so easy for me to get so easily frustrated with Edgar just trying to make the most of his summers too.  I guess in a way I’m afraid he’ll think life is too easy too.

¿Quién sabe?  Who knows why we think the things we do sometimes.

Next time I get frustrated, though, I’m just going to have to remind myself of how much fun my summer vacations used to be.  After all, before you know it they’ll all be gone!  Maybe that’s why every once in a while mamá and papá would just cut loose and have fun with us doing absolutely nada!

Those are definitely some of the moments and memories I cherish most anyway.

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