Juan of Words

In Love & War: Is It Really All Fair Game?

There’s an old saying, which I’m pretty sure you’re all familiar with already, that goes a little something like this – there’s a very thin line between love and hate.  In truth, as unfortunate as it might sound, there really is quite a fine line between the two.  It’s easier than one my think to go from loving someone with all your heart to kind of starting to loathe them, and vice versa… though it’s not necessarily true that this would be the natural course for all relationships.  Instead, it’s just one of those things that kind of happens sin querer queriendo sometimes.  

all is fair in love and war relationships
Is it all fair in love and war?

Be that as it may, I’m more intrigued by the “war” part of this equation.  When dealing in love or, more importantly, war, is it really all fair game?  Certainly in actual combat between nations I would say yes, but in matters of personal relationships, ¿cómo que no sé?  Should we really be so vicious with one another?

My mother used to say – and now I understand why – “es que uno tiene la lengua muy suelta y a veces se nos salen las cosas sin querer”.  Isn’t that the truth?  If I had a nickel for every time my tongue developed a vocabulary of it’s own and just went off on somebody… nombre, pues I’d be a millionaire right now!  That’s when the famous metidas de patas (sticking your foot in your mouth) usually happen.  When your blood starts boiling, your anger gets the better of you, and you just can’t control any more the words that are coming out of your own month. It’s literally like your foaming at the mouth with puros tongue lashes.

I’ll admit it – yo no soy ningún santo – my coraje has a lot of times gotten the better of me.  I’ve offended those closest to me.  I’ve said things I wish I hadn’t.  I’ve done things that even just seconds later after having done them, I wish I never would have.  And yes, por supuesto, I’ve thrown a few blows below the belt, as well as had them thrown at me too.  Still, lately, I’ve kind of been wondering if it’s all worth it.  La Dóctora Isabel, which I used to listen too religiously, would say no, and I know deep down inside that she’s probably right… but for some reason that logic has not fully seeped into my mind.  I’m more comfortable with ojo por ojo, diente por diente.

Or I have been until now.

As of late, though, I think I’ve been coming to the realization that life really is too short to focus on the negative too muchI won’t say that I’m growing up, because I’m probably not… but I will say, I am becoming more aware of how much control we all have in our own happiness and peace of mind.         

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