10 things a Latina would have said or done to Jay Z in Solange’s shoes

10 things a Latina would have said or done to Jay Z in Solange's shoes

Yes, it’s gratuitous. Yes, it was very hard to resist the urge. No, you don’t have to keep reading if you don’t want to hear or read anything else about the whole Solange-Jay Z controversy. Pero, I myself, I had to get this out of my system. Who knows what the hell he told her to make her so angry. Who knows who was wrong or right in this ridiculous escandalo, but what I couldn’t help wondering was what if he had said whatever he said to a Latina?

A strong, take-no-one’s crap, Latina, who might have reacted with the same level of fury as Solange? What would she have said or done? I thought it would be fun to take a jab at answering that question:

10. Hijo de tu…. 

9. ¿Quién te crees pen…? 

8. Nomás deja que lleguemos a la casa, ¡cabron! 

7. No words. Just a big dramatic slap across the face. 

6. ¡Te dije, que, no, estés, chingando! 

5. ¡Bey! ¡Agarra tu esposo! ¡O no respondo! 

4. ¿Muy machito verdad? Pues, ¡orale! TOMA!!

3. ¡Ya mero! 

2. ¡Qué rapero millonario ni que ocho cuartos! 

1. ¡¡DESGRACIADO!!

I feel better about my curiosity now :-)

This was a good week

This was a good week

Me and my jefita.

I know so because it’s Friday; we’re all in one piece; we’ve managed to write more than we had been recently; estamos saludables y con vida; and well, what else can you say when you take that into consideration.

I’m thinking about my mom tonight. This Saturday after all is Mother’s Day. My mother has been such a true blessing in my life. She has always been the strong one, the one who could take on whatever, always put on a smile, and in a very manner of fact way, always survived even despite the biggest obstacles life has thrown at her. She taught me how to be patient and kind. That hard work and determination pay off. That saying no, or taking no for an answer, is not necessarily always the best option. She also taught me that sometimes it’s okay to fold one’s hands and be the bigger person. She taught me about love, parenting, and above all, about making mistakes and owning up to them.

My mother deserves a shower of blessings upon her every single day. She is the sunshine in the dark. My gasp of fresh air when I can no longer breathe on my own. She is the pillar that holds the very fiber of my being together, and makes everything right in the world. She is the woman who loves me more than anything, and more than I will ever know.

That maternal instinct, I believe, is something that a lot of women possess. It’s like the calling of nature to the female soul. A love deeper than any other love. The love from a mother to a child. It is a pure love. A peaceful love. Not always a perfect love, but a love nonetheless that very rarely can be surpassed. I see it in my sisters, in my wife, my friends, random women who I come across on a daily basis; and in every single one of their faces, when they’re children need them, there is an inner glow of resilience, bravery and compassion. A love that one only needs to see to experience, and respect.

It’s been a good week, indeed. A good week to reflect on the very women who gave us life. A good time to start planning how to apapachar our madrecitas. 

Congratulations y’all! From all of us here at Juan of Words, les deseamos un ¡muy Feliz Día de las Madres! 

Y para mis mamás roqueras, here’s a classic from the one and only Gloria Trevi!

Por el amor al dinero

Por el amor al dinero

Last week I made a conscious decision. It was a decision that was not made lightly. It was a decision that came to me as second nature. And one week later, it’s a decision that has me thinking.

Our truck, (la prieta), had finally given out, and we had it at the mechanic shop. It was time to go get it, and that’s when the conscious decision was made.

I’m going to pause here to tell you what happened to la prieta. We were on the way to get my haircut and run a few errands. It was a Saturday so we didn’t really have to be anywhere and we were enjoying our time together. There was a Wendy’s nearby and we were hungry. As we made our way past the drive thru, having just ordered a burger for Edgar, a salad for Anjelica, and a cup of chili for me, I was pulling out my cash from my pocket when a loud noise caught all of our attention. Next thing we knew there was white smoke coming out of la prieta’s hood. We drove out of the drive thru line (without our food) and parked in the nearest parking spot before calling a wrecker to come get us.

The radiator had exploded and we were pretty much SOL!

Two days later, everything was better and our truck was ready to come home.

I myself had just gotten home from work, and insisted on changing out of my work clothes before we went to pick up the truck. My office is business casual so I was dressed pretty catrin.

“I can’t show up like this!,” I remember thinking.

How could I show up looking like I work in an office.

This guy would surely charge me more for that!

Mejor me arregle simplenente. The slacks I was wearing were switched for jeans. My button down shirt for a regular tee. Y claro, mis zapatos de charol were now dirty old tennis shoes instead.

From what I can remember sí me fue muy bien. The repairs were priced fairly reasonably, and the truck is running great so far. What I did find incredible, though, is just how fast I was to change my clothes to not give the catrin impression. Was I right in doing so? Would they have charged me more if I looked like I work in an office? I also made an extra effort to sound extra burly, stick my chest out a little more, and pretend like I knew what I was looking at under the hood of la prieta.  

Anything to save a few bucks.

What do you think? Do you change things about yourself too in certain situations, if you think it will save you a few bucks? I’d love to read your stories.

Bubble gum machine

Bubble gum machine replica

As seen on Instagram… (I am not a big Pinterest person).

My goal on this project was to see if I could recreate a cute bubble gum machine.

The supplies I used were:

- Fish bowl
- Re cotta planter and dish
- Acrylic paint
- Paint brushes
- Glue with a strong bond
- Wooden beads

The process was super quick and easy. First, I painted the planter and planter dish. Then I glued the wooden beads to the planter and dish. Finally, I assembled and glued the bottom of the dish bowl to the bottom of the planter.

Other than that, I just bought candy and filled up the bubble gum machine.

This craft was very easy and fun. The finished project is perfect for a party.

Bubble gum machine replica

Bubble gum machine replica

Sábado

Sábado

¿Te imaginas un fin de semana?

Cue the runaway hit by Grupo Bronco that was such a sensation in the 1990s, and that’s the perfect start to a wonderful weekend.

That song always brings back great memories. I also jam it every time it comes on over the radio on the oldies station. Nineties music on the oldies station, I still can’t fathom that!

Pero nuestros sábados, they were special.

There were cartoon marathons, covers on the floor, pillows stacked up just enough so we could lay upside down or right side up at the perfect angle to watch TV, pancakes, barbacoa tacos, or something just as yummy in the works, that we could smell from the living room since very early in the day. For those few hours every Saturday morning my siblings and I were the most calm and harmonious kids around.

The only time we’d break out into an argument was when we couldn’t agree on what cartoon show to watch next. There were so many good ones back then.

The rest of the time we were too modorros to do anything else besides stare at the TV.

Para eso se hicieron los sábados. ¿Apoco no?

Craft fail

I was thrilled about starting this new craft project.

A few days before, I had come across a beautiful jewelry holder at Target, which I then decided was too expensive to buy. It looked simple enough, and I figured I could recreate something similar all by myself. I started, and I was all the way at the very last step when I made a crucial mistake that I could not fix. Needless to say, this was a lesson learned!

I now know not to add water (or any moisture) to triple thick glaze.

Had I not made this critical mistake I would have a new jewelry holder right now.

Instead, all I have to share is the picture of the jewelry holder I did not buy.

Craft fail

I used dowels, toothpicks, and E-6000 to start my project.

Craft fail

I spray-painted a dish that I had been using to retain water from a plant. I was also pretty excited to be sealing and glazing using gold glitter. As you can see, that is as far as I got.

Craft fail

If you decide to attempt this project, here’s a word to the wise. Do not make the same mistake I made.

Craft fail

Craft fail

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