What are you thankful for? This year that question is a little harder to answer than before. Of course, there are the standard things one is grateful for: good health, family, friends, life and the ability to see one more day. But I’d be lying if I said this year hasn’t been a little tough. On so many levels.
Tough enough, in fact, to at times make me feel hopeless. Angry. Frustrated. Sad. Disappointed. And yes, even disillusioned.
Admitting that is pretty tough in it of itself. I’m not usually one to admit those kind of emotions. The older I get the tougher it is to be an open book, I think. Yet, the truth is that’s been the reality of 2016 for me. It’s kind of been a roller coaster where the peaks have been few and far between, though there have been some and I am truly grateful for those.
Believe it or not, I’m also appreciative of the valleys this year. Note I said appreciative and not grateful.
I’m appreciative because those moments have really forced me to be retrospective with myself. They’ve forced me to change certain habits, to not be so cocky, to come down from my own damn pedestal, and to really, honestly just try. To just try to not be so stuck in my own ways. I’m a stubborn son of a gun so that’s probably been the hardest part.
But when you’re accosted by life, and one thing just comes right after the other, it’s hard to hunker down and not be affected. I’m going to go ahead and caveat here that nothing that has happened in my life this year has actually been catastrophic, and that I am 100 percent certain others have had it much tougher than I. If that is you, please excuse my whining and complaining. I’m going to do more of it because that is is where my head is right now. Please feel free to stop reading and come back another day if you don’t want to hear it. I’ll completely understand. No hard feelings.
For those that decide to stay, let me just say, I guess the point of my writing this post is just to be completely honest. With myself more than anyone else, I guess.
No, I’m not excited about Thanksgiving this year.
No, it doesn’t feel like a celebration or a holiday.
No, not even all the tasty holiday dishes and desserts are making me want to get out of this funk.
But I will. Because that is what we do. And that is what has to be done.
Sometimes it’s good just to vent before.