Juanito Lleno de Gracia

El otro día me estaba quejando.  You know, the typical: “I should have done this.”  “I want that.”  “Why can’t that happen to me?”  Y quien sabe cuantas otras cosas that I was going on about.  Aunque no quiera, sometimes it’s hard to avoid those moments of whining and complaining about how unfair life can be.  Y nombre once I get going, I get going.  Anyway, then Anjelica turns and looks at me and starts her conversation like this: “Juan, what are you talking about?  Look at all the things you’ve had the opportunity to do.  Look at all the opportunities you’ve had in your life so far….”

I won’t continue with the dialogue porque me da penita, but as usual (don’t tell her I said that), she was right.

There I was, yo de menso… thinking only of what could or should happen for me right now, instead of realizing all that had happened already in order for me to be right here right now.  Sure, we still have a long way to go.  ¿Quién lo va negar eso?  But from where we started, cómo dice la canción de Chingo Bling, started at the border now we’re here!

¡No pues sí!  

It made me think of that mocoso who used to play with dirt in the driveway of his house with his brothers in McCook.  It made me remember how he used to hide in the back of his house with the comb and some kittens, combing them hasta que un día se le fue la mano and one of the poor little kittens never woke up again.  It made remember what it was like to think that life as a writer was only for la gente con dinero, not for the child of immigrant parents from Mexico who had crossed the Rio Grande river to get here.

Then I remembered what it felt like to breakaway from each of these preconceived notions, one after the other, by challenging myself… and I couldn’t help but smile.

¡Nombre guey, te estás quemando bien feo!  

¡Agradece, y callate la boca!